Day 11

I woke up to hear Emily mumbling about the heat inside the tent. It was definitely hot inside that little canvas inferno, so we packed everything up and began exploring the Badlands. While heading to the visitor center, we were barked at by some roadside prairie dogs who mistook our car for a predator. Silly prairie dogs - we're vegetarians.

The park's Visitor Center was our first source of indoor plumbing since entering the park, so we brushed our teeth at the restroom sinks. Once clean, we decided to dirty ourselves again by taking an uphill hike in the 101-degree weather.

Being one tint away from albino coloring, I took the proper precautions: a triple layer of 45+ sunscreen, thick sunglasses (think Doc Brown at the end of Back to the Future, where he returns to 1985 to snatch up Michael J. Fox), and the ugliest safari hat in existence. It's turquoise. The sun won't go near me when I look like this:

The sun was boiling, but the hike was quick and rewarding. We got to shimmy up a makeshift ladder and scale some rocks before the trail brought us to an overlook. You could see the entire valley - moon-like formations and all. Naturally, Emily wanted to walk to the brink of the cliff and sit down, despite tornado-like winds that were whipping past the rocks. I decided to stay back, and a sudden flurry of bee activity convinced Emily to come back to the trail and return to sea level the safe way.

Sweaty and hungry for more sights, we decided to leave the park and head for the Black Hills, where we paid $8 to see Mt. Rushmore and ended up enjoying it a lot. Emily insisted on bringing the turquoise safari hat with us, just so we could look like proper tourists while posing in front of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt. Did you know that there were no fatalities during the construction of the monument?

There was a forest fire nearby, and we decided to skip the flames and head for Wyoming instead. After taking a quick detour to see the Crazy Horse monument (which will be GIANT and MONUMENTAL if it's ever completed), we pushed the pedal to the floor and didn't stop until a hailstorm forced us off the road in Gillette, Wyoming. Hotel vacancies were all but non-existent, and a tornado warning made things worse. We eventually found a smoky Days Inn room for a sky-high price - but at least they had showers.

It's too bad about the hail. The sunset this evening was nothing short of gorgeous. It looked like heaven was parting its way through the storm clouds.

- Andrew